More than 20 years ago, my husband Paul suffered a devastating stroke. Paul was 36, I was 31. My good friend and supporter was in need. Suddenly, in addition to my full-time job and daily responsibilities, I found myself overwhelmed by taking care of my husband’s responsibilities, personal needs and health. I worried a lot and the care giving took its toll. I stopped taking care of myself. I got too little sleep, drank too much coffee and ate too much comfort food. I became dis-organised, tired and unmotivated. I gained weight and my overall self-esteem plummeted. I needed help. My goals were to find a new job and to get my physical and emotional health back on track. Working with several professional coaches, I went about doing just that.
Knowing that a new job, at a higher level of management, would increase my self-worth and lighten my mood, I hired a career coach. Career coaches specialise in helping people gain clarity, direction and self-confidence while facing the challenges of career and life transitions. I needed direction and that is just what I got. My coach listened to me, then gave me assignments, deadlines, constructive feedback and support. As a result of her coaching and my newfound determination my career took off again.
Frustrated by my ever-increasing weight and cholesterol, I went to my doctor. He asked, “do you want a lecture or a nutritionist?” I chose the nutritionist. My nutritionist helped me understand portion size and the effect of different foods on my health, stamina and mood. She coached me on eating healthy in all circumstances eating at home, eating out and eating while traveling for business or working late. Every time I reached for a cookie, I saw her face and I didn’t want to report that I hadn’t stuck to my goals for the week. That was my secret to losing more than 35 pounds.
Emotional Wellness Coaching
As I am writing this, I am looking at a handwritten note taped to my computer: “Reminder: done is better than perfect.” My friend and licensed mental health counsellor wrote this to help me overcome one of my personal, emotional issues — being a perfectionist. I am very hard on myself and often worry and feel guilty for not doing enough. Many caregivers have to come face to face with their own emotional issues. Find a licensed mental health counsellor in your area
Working with these coaches has changed my life. They helped me make caring for myself a priority. Now I feel good about myself, about my husband and about my life. Instead of being “the caregiver” and “the survivor,” we have returned to being two individuals who simply value each other.
Resources Link to hundreds of free self-coaching articles and tips: http://www.selfgrowth.com/
8 tips to help caretakers reduce stress and care for themselves:
- Take breaks throughout the day, close your eyes and visualize something pleasant for a moment.
- Breathe deeply.
- Exercise regularly.
- Add healthy foods and reduce sugar intake.
- Listen to soothing music.
- Laugh more.
- Participate in a hobby or recreational activity.
- Write down your feelings in a journal or talk to a trusted friend.
We aim to provide impartial educational information on Stroke prevention, awareness, the effects, rehabilitation, re-connection, tips and tricks that can benefit those most affected by Stroke. This is a New Zealand website. Its content is intended for New Zealand resident use.
This website does not provide medical advice. Information provided on this site is not designed or intended to constitute medical advice or to be used for diagnosis. Due to unique individual needs and medical history, please consult your own personal physician who will be able to determine the appropriateness of the information for your specific situation and they will assist you in making any decisions regarding treatment and/or medication.